Okay, I have something to add. You know, I feel like that stupid girl in the room that doesn't get it and everyone else in the room does and they see she doesn't. Some are looking at her with sadness, some are shaking their heads and some are bug eyed because they can't believe she is so stupid.
Jim has been working for about 2 weeks straight no days off. This will probably end this weekend as it's a seasonal job. He walks in the door and is petting our dogs. I grab him and pull him into a hug. I hold on tight and hold on to him for like 15 seconds. I am feeling his body touching mine. His shoulders tummy and legs. It's a good feeling until I realize his arms are not around me. He stopped on my side. I have both my arms up around his shoulders, my head is next to his and he only has his hands on my side. I feel like he is just waiting for me to let go. I'm getting no response from him toward me. No squeeze back, no laying his head into me, nothing. I start to let go as he does also then I hug him again before we break away. He gives a little laugh. I let go and he almost acts uncomfortable. Like he didn't know what to do or say. I say I just miss you so much. A couple hours later, after he has feed all our cats and dogs and we have had dinner and are sitting in the living room he looks at me and says, "That was nice what you did". Okay, now am I the stupid girl in the room ? I mean shouldn't he have said, "I really miss you too !"
I feel like this has gone on so long that I have gotten use to no showing of affection or of telling your other how you feel about them. I sure wish it was different but it's not and I need to (as my Granddaughter would say), put your big girl pants on and move on.
We will talk more later. Tootles
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